Life Through Dance

Muscling Your Way Through Life

By Elizabeth Dickinson

Life doesn’t always give you an A for effort.

At a recent women’s group I attend, a participant shared some of her job search frustrations. She was doing everything right—sending out resumes, networking, being creative in her approaches. But she wasn’t getting interviews. She was discouraged.

She’s a very physical person, practices Bikram yoga, rock-climbs on weekends, etc. I could sense how her physical approach to life translated into her attitude towards finding a new job. I relate to it.

In ballroom dancing and in life, if something isn’t working, I tend to throw more energy and effort into it. This isn’t necessarily bad in itself. I was brought up to have a really good work ethic. It wasn’t anything my parents specifically said; it was just the way they approached life.

If I don’t understand something in dance, I usually take a deep breath, metaphorically gird my loins, and just throw myself at it. It’s as if sheer determination will win the day. Turns can be especially troublesome. It doesn’t work to throw enormous amounts of energy into them. It’s like using blunt force when subtlety is needed. Michelle Hudson once said in a group class that you should use the least amount of energy possible to turn.

While I tend to be a kinesthetic learner, for quite a while I’ve had to use my head to learn the complicated counts in my choreography. So ironically, my teacher has asked me to be more kinesthetic in my approach, to feel what his lead is asking me to do.

Muscling your way through life is often counterproductive. Sometimes you’ve just got to relax, to accept you’re doing everything you can, and to use less deliberate effort to be truly successful.

May we pursue our paths, trusting in our efforts and feeling our way.