The Power of Ballroom

Making Social Strides

By Meredith McKinney

I recently read a book called The Power of Habit. It emphasizes how modifying one routine in your life can have a ripple effect, realigning all of your other habits. I would say that my ballroom dancing habit has done that for me in terms of realigning my social experience.

I have always loved dance. I started out (after gymnastics) doing Irish dance, later got some exposure to jazz technique, and in college took two semesters of Congolese dance and one semester of modern dance. Finally, my senior year of college, I discovered ballroom dance. Looking back, I realize that, as wonderful as Irish dance was for me in terms of giving me an intense form of exercise and a skill to develop, it did not seem to help me much socially. For one thing, it fell outside the mainstream, and it wasn’t good for parties. But even when practicing at the studio, I found myself inside my head a lot, focusing on my steps or how tired I was, rather than chatting with other dancers. Except when I was younger, between eight to ten or so, I don’t think I ever really got close to any of the girls at my dance school.

Ballroom dance, on the other hand, has developed me socially. I still tend to take the same attitude towards it as I did with Irish dance: that it is not enjoyable unless I am constantly improving. But ballroom has allowed me many more opportunities to meet and interact with people. In fact, without it, I would have had a pretty poor social life in law school (the law school friends I do have might as well be hermits). Through ballroom (and those friends who give me rides), I have been able to expand my social sphere beyond the university through competitions, variety dances, salsa dancing, and even random ballroom dancing at non-ballroom events.

The combination of knowing how to dance and being part of a local dance community has facilitated serendipity. Last Friday, I went out with a ballroom friend and his friends. By chance, we met some people who told us about a Michael Jackson dance party. There, I ran into one of my old dance partners. I think we were both happy to dance hustle and west coast swing, and one girl even said, “I love you guys.”

Another time, I realized that one of my dance partners also knew Irish social dancing, so we teamed up to teach a group of fellow ballroom dancers at our end-of-semester party. They were a perfect sample of willing victims, because they already loved to dance.

If it had not been for ballroom connections and being more social, I would not have met my current boyfriend. And the ballroom social norm of approaching strangers and asking them to dance has made it easier to approach new people in general. I once went out to a bar with two ballroom friends after a dance lesson and managed to break the ice with a cute German guy because I noticed him watching my friends dancing.

For someone voted quietest in high school, I think I’ve come a long way.