Women's Reality in a Greater Context

By Jackson Fossen

As part of my attempt to improve my dancing and life at large by gaining new perspectives and information, my latest literary undertaking was the most thought-provoking book I read over the summer.

Anne Wilson Schaef's Women's Reality offers a different perspective on society, where people form and fit into various systems. The most prominent and powerful of these systems is the White Male System, which most people conform to.

I try to be humble and keep an open mind, so I was delighted to find many of my beliefs challenged when forced to consider a new perspective. I consider Women's Reality important information for healthy and successful ballroom dance partnerships, and it has shed new light on issues I've observed within the ballroom world. I've made a goal to keep this information in mind and use it to make changes both in my partnerships and in my greater sphere of influence.

A variety of thoughts crossed my mind while reading, but I was surprised to find myself most often connecting Women's Reality to other books I've been reading. I found myself making many connections to First, Break All the Rules, a management book I read early in the summer. Many descriptions of the Female System, including distinctions on how it treats rules, leadership, and power, matched the findings of a Gallup poll on great management techniques.

Great management, at least as it's defined in First, Break All the Rules, is not entirely the product of the Female System. However, it is, I think, significantly more similar to the Female System than the White Male System. Interestingly enough, many aspects of the White Male System are things not advised by Dale Carnegie, author of How to Win Friends and Influence People.

After reading both Carnegie's book and Women's Reality, it appears the Female System, for the most part, is better at winning friends and influencing people. While Schaef claims that one system as described in her book isn't necessarily better than another, other authors seem to disagree, as many practices and philosophies they advocate for match the Female System.

Women's Reality offers a new perspective on ballroom dancing, which could be viewed as a visual interpretation of the White Male and Female Systems. At times they may seem to clash and, at others, to combine beautifully.

As Schaef states many times, it's especially hard for men within the White Male System to see their system. This also means it's hard for me to accept and incorporate new ideas on what it means to be a lead, but I'd like to make it work. A lot of what I consider to be the duties of a lead belong to the White Male System, and, according to Schaef, have negative effects on follows as women.

Ballroom dance, at least in obvious ways, seems to enforce the White Male System. I do not yet know how or whether it can adapt to an emerging Female System. I hope ballroom dancing will adapt, survive, and thrive as society changes and the feminist movement progresses, and I believe knowledge and recognition of the many other systems will be vital.