Middle-Aged Moves
Dancing With God
By Rochelle Lockridge
My job was eliminated (along with two hundred fifty others) on Friday, April 29th with June 13th designated as my last day working in the 3M Research & Development organization---one month shy of twenty-six years of service to the "Mother Mining." But as luck would have it, a month ago I started planning a personal retreat for the purpose of discerning what I wanted to do in the next phase of my life when I took an early retirement from 3M in eighteen months. How perfect is this? Unexpectedly, I lose my job on Friday and here I am three days later sitting in my hermitage, Joy, in front of a cozy fire on a two-week retreat writing my column and figuring out what kind of work I'm being called to do next in the world. I'm beginning to think time may not be as linear as I had been led to believe.
To make it even more amazing, (cue Twilight Zone theme music) the retreat center, unbeknownst to me in advance, has a huge, beautiful dance floor in the main meeting hall that I can use anytime. How the Franciscan sisters who run the place had the inspiration in 2000 to build a dance floor just for my retreat in 2016 is a mystery. Is there a higher power at work or what? My first evening here I spent a good two hours enjoying the space by practicing West Coast Swing and the Mambo with DVIDA online videos. I had been concerned when making my retreat plans that it would interfere with my Mambo group class this month, but no worries. I'm familiarizing myself with the bronze syllabus so I can jump right in with the rest of the class when I return. Forward and back basics? Check. Side breaks? Check. Cross body lead? Check. Open break and underarm turns? Check.
In many ways you could say it is because of ballroom dancing the last year and a half that I'm where I'm at---joyful that this phase of my life, working in corporate America, has ended. Working in an environment that at times bears more than a passing resemblance to a Dilbert cartoon requires a tremendous amount of energy just to survive. (One actual event that I know of was actually published in a Dilbert cartoon strip). I've had a taste of what it feels like to enjoy dancing with a partner, and it was becoming increasingly apparent that dancing with 3M was no longer enjoyable; especially frustrating were the weak, crazy-making leads with "fishy frames" who seemed to be making up the dance as they went along. How can anyone be expected to work/dance with that?
Now, I'm out here in the heart of the Wisconsin woods dancing with the nuns, and I'm going to take a big risk and let you in on a secret. My regular readers know how much I enjoy practicing, and I've been secretly practicing to… wait for it… wait for it... dance with God. Yep, there, I said it. For the last few years I've had this notion that by freeing myself from old stories and dysfunctional environments, I'd have more awareness and energy to co-create a life of joy and purpose that we are each meant to live. Pretty out-there stuff that I've only shared with one other student at the studio. We both agreed talking openly about dancing as a spiritual practice was something we didn't feel comfortable sharing with just anyone. I'm not sure that many would get what we are talking about anyway---it might be a middle-aged thing. But most any ballroom dancer who has experienced that in-the-flow feeling of dancing with a partner, not just moving through the steps, will "get it." When the steps have been learned, the body memory solid, and you are present with yourself and your partner, then co-creation in the moment is possible. What a high! I've found that when I am able to stay present, centered, and fully in my body, being in-the-flow is more and more accessible. When ballroom dancing made its appearance in my life, things really started flowing. My work situation? Not so much. When most of my energy goes toward surviving, what's left to flow?
Knowing that I'm soon to be unemployed, I spent the two-plus hour drive out to the retreat center tossing around ideas for starting my own business. I contemplated Ballroom for the Boardroom. They could really use it. But there were just too many issues to overcome: like all leads and no follows (which is exactly why they need it, but that's beside the point). Then the idea of starting a business teaching ballroom to seniors in senior daycare, assisted living, and retirement homes popped in my head. Hey, now that would be cool. Research shows it is the best kind of exercise for keeping the mind sharp as we age [^1]. And thanks to the Baby Boomer generation now reaching or already well into retirement, I'll have plenty of senior students to attract. All those aging brains will be searching for ways to ward off dementia. I don't know if there's a viable, financially sound business in it, but it sure is going to be an adventure finding out. Hey, wait…. What if time isn't linear and I've already started Baby Boomer Ballroom and it's a great success? What if I'm already co-creating a life of joy and purpose---teaching and dancing? What if practice has made perfect and I'm now dancing with God? Anyone want to join me? Or... (cue Twilight Zone theme music) maybe you already have.