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Physical Contact?! In Dance?!

By Eric Dahlman

It's a problem that often shows up in newcomers to ballroom, although it can happen at social dances as well: a lot of people dance with their body too far away from their partner. The reasoning is understandable. It's awkward for many people to be physically close to others, and the issue becomes even worse when dancing with strangers at an event or group lesson.

Physical contact and the notions behind it are very culture-based ideas. It's a rather American concept that we should allow ourselves more personal space and that touching requires trust. While there is nothing inherently wrong about this concept, people deserve their own space as long as it's practical. It's times like partner dancing where we need to shed our fear of proximity in order to dance properly.

Luckily, the anxiety that comes with physical contact is easy to overcome. That fear is simply a cultural trend, an idea. Like any other trend or idea, it can be easily replaced with a different outlook or interpretation. Actions can be defined in many ways as the setting sees fit. For example, a kiss is something intimate in the U.S. However, in many other parts of the world, a kiss can be as simple as a greeting. Similarly, physical contact and proximity to another person does not have to be inherently invasive or sexual within the context of ballroom dance.

The key to overcoming nervousness when creating physical connection in dance is to view it in proper context. Much as a kiss can be a greeting, the setting means that physical contact is simply a matter of the subject. Instead of wondering, "What will the other dancer think?" or "Does holding them like this mean we're going to fall in love?!", think of the contact as "it's just dance" and that the thought is mutual. Ballroom creates its own cultural conceptions when dancing and a good frame between partners is just part of it. Physical closeness doesn't have the same meaning as it does off of the dance floor.

Viewing physical contact in a different, dance-oriented context with its own set of rules helps you deal with anxiety and fears of intimacy quickly fade away for most dancers. If you're having trouble getting past the idea, simply think of it as an idea and ask yourself why you think that way. Most of the time, the notions have nothing to do with what is going on in ballroom. Once you see that, begin dancing with greater ease and comfort.

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