The Harsh Truth, and The Friends You Lean On

By Paris Becker

Chicago Dancesport Challenge was a mix of emotions, as is every competition. Practice leading up to the competition was smooth sailing; our goals were in sight, and our confidence was building every day – until the week of the competition, when we learned whom we were competing against. Our confidence was shaken as we read the many names of couples we train alongside and whom we consider a part of our dance family. Only the top 65% of the couples in each heat can qualify for Nationals – and our Minnesota family made up more than 65%. It’s heartbreaking to know that there isn’t a spot for all of us, as we were all working incredibly hard for the same goal.

As we travel to the competition, the excitement grows with every mile until we fell onto our beds at the hotel completely exhausted and the dancing hasn’t even started yet. At dinner among the Cubs-mania in Chicago, we all shakily minimized our goals for the competition from “We plan on qualifying for every event” to “I hope I qualify for something” as we actually looked each other with the knowledge that we all won’t make it. How awkward and disheartening. How can we turn this situation into a positive?

Although I tend to disagree with a lot of the things said by dance coaches on Reality TV shows, I do think that “Save your tears for the pillow” is a valid statement in this sort of situation. Not everyone can win all the time, and the manner in which you accept losing shows a lot more about your character than winning ever could. Dance is especially a difficult sport to judge because it is purely a visual sport. If you do not receive a callback, that could mean a thousand things – you weren’t seen, the judge looked at you the moment you made an awkward face because your partner almost ran you into someone, you weren’t doing that one tiny piece of technique the judge wanted to see on the floor, etc. The saying, “Different judges or a different day, leads to a different result” is the unbelievable truth in ballroom.

In Chicago, as I watched my friends be eliminated as the rounds went on, I caught myself wondering how I made it this far. There is no way that I am as leftward in frame as this couple is; nor do I have the same control over my tango movements as that couple; heck, I’ve only learned Quickstep maybe three weeks ago and that other couple has been competing this for years. One time, as we were waiting on deck for a final round, I looked around and realized I was only one of two follows who was not wearing a true competitive gown and the thought escaped my lips, “What are we doing here?” as I quadruple checked that we in fact got a call back for this round.

But I am unbelievably lucky that those other couples, who I am proud to call my friends and ballroom family, eliminated my self-doubt as we stepped back onto the floor. I could only hear their very loud support. And thanks to the support of our friends who were eliminated from the competition much too soon, my partner and I were able to reach our ultimate goal and qualify in all five of the events that we entered throughout the competition.

Of course I am proud of the hard work that we put into our dancing to get us to this point, but I am more proud of the friends I have made throughout the ballroom community who helped us get past that one last hurdle. The love shared within the Ballroom community is unmatchable, and I look forward to supporting you and helping you reach your goals at your next event.