Middle Aged Moves

Vulnerability, Courage & Balance

By Rochelle Lockridge

Ballroom dancing started out almost two years ago as a way to keep me exercising regularly, but it has become so much more. I’m healthier mentally, physically and emotionally than I’ve ever been; I’ve gained a sense of confidence in myself I never thought possible; I’ve found a supportive and healthy community of fellow dancers who continue to inspire me on many levels. And the newest development?... Six months after my job of 26 years was unexpectedly eliminated, I took a risk, asked the dance studio director if she’d consider hiring a community outreach coordinator, and two weeks later… I was very happily working full-time as the business development manager at Dancers Studio.

But dancing impacts my life most profoundly in my personal spiritual development. It is amazing how I continually find dance related analogies that inform and physically validate whatever is popping up in my world at the moment. This is beautifully illustrated in a piece I wrote for the Call To Worship I gave at church recently that I’d like to share. Here I am, as explored in a previous column, “Dancing With God” once again.

It could be a fight with a friend or family member, the death of a loved one, the results of an election, or even executing a beautiful full-bodied developé in the middle of your much sought after graceful Waltz. I’m not the only one being thrown off balance and in need of finding a way to steady again. But it makes it quite difficult when we are hardwired to keep ourselves upright. For me, maintaining my balance at all costs - not being thrown off in the first place- is where I feel most comfortable.

It was my private dance instructor who recently recognized that it was my fear and unfamiliarity with falling and picking myself back up, not my lack of staying in balance, that was keeping me from moving to the next level in my dancing. He explained how in dance, especially a partner dance like the Waltz, it’s all about moving in and out of balance with one another, hopefully without finding ourselves on the floor. And if we do end up on the floor?... Giggle, pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and start over. He recommended I practice putting myself purposefully off balance, fall, and then slowly bring myself back to standing. Okay in the privacy of my own home… but with another person? Out on the dance floor? You’ve got to be kidding… but as suggested I practiced falling, and at our next lesson I was ready to give it a try. The Waltz began; I took a deep breath, relaxed, trusted my instructor and my own body, and voilà, there it was, a lovely developé.

It takes vulnerability and courage to bring ourselves back once we’ve been thrown off balance. We need to look inside ourselves and ask, what do I really want? Do I want to stay in the safety of my comfort zone or do I want to dance?

Come, let us dance together.