Middle-Aged Moves

It Takes Two to Tango

By Rochelle Lockridge

You’ve read it here before… A common thread weaving throughout my columns…. Yes folks, my dancing journey has me balancing on the edge again. Although in the last issue of Sheer Dance I was exploring "Falling In & Out of Balance", practicing purposely falling, this month I’m traveling down a path I’m worried I may have to abandon. Admit I’ve met my match- “down for the count”.

Honestly… what in the world was I thinking when I chose to dance this particular DVIDA freestyle American Bronze Tango routine for a showcase? I must’ve been feeling extremely confident and sassy that day. When DVIDA DVD instructors, Michael Mead and Tony Redpath say, “Now we’re going to show you a short routine that utilizes the full potential of the Bronze Syllabus, and we’ve maximized styling elements to make it even more dramatic.”, they weren’t kidding about the “maximized styling elements.” It’s frustrating that two years have passed since I started partner dancing and most styling (head, arm, leg – you name it) continues to feel foreign and forced. But the Tango, because the styling is out of my comfort zone, is exactly why I chose it. I sensed it was a good way to safely practice bringing all of me to the table.

The kids might not have as much trouble “being seen” as someone who has over a half century of emotional baggage to contend with. It’s not easy to put myself out there with a history of being squashed for being too loud, too expressive, too confident; not to mention living in a society where a strong, confident, sensual woman is often viewed as a threat. I have a lifetime of trying to keep safe, more contained. You would also be surprised that the Meyers-Briggs personality test has me pegged as an introvert, a gregarious one, but an introvert just the same. But Rochelle… you’re a performer. Yes, and when I’m up on the stage singing I’m usually hidden in the middle of a choir or feeling safe behind my guitar; and I’ve been doing these publically for over 42 years, not just two! It’s complicated. I’m complicated.

You’d think with all the nervous giggling going on a teenager, not a middle-ager, was in the middle of her lessons lately. It’s embarrassing. I love the passion of the Tango: the sensuality, the cat-like slinking punctuated with the sharp staccato movements. The dance is calling to me. But the whole, I’m-the-most-beautiful-passionate-confident-sensual-woman-on-the-dance-floor attitude that traditionally goes with the Tango, is styling I could easily skip over. Another “skip over”? Tony’s demonstrated "maximized styling element" of caressing her partner’s face during a set of progressive rocks. We know it’s only acting, but I fear this is the one that may topple me from my precarious perch on the edge. I hadn’t fully factored in ALL of the consequences with embracing partner dancing as a tool for personal growth; like it requires I dance with a partner…in public. My journey to fully function and thrive in the world via partner dancing must, by definition, be done in the close, often public embrace of another. There’s no hiding here. It takes two to Tango.

Reviewing the video of a recent practice session, it was clear that my decision to concentrate on Tango is paying off. Much to my delight, I wasn’t horrified to see my side of the partnership in action. I was able to make my way through the clip without averting my eyes or cringing too much. There were even parts where I was surprisingly pleased with what I was seeing- especially my underarm walk-around turn. Boy was that dramatic, confident and expressive. (And here I felt at the time my styling was way over the top.) Maybe that dramatic head flip and arm fling of Ms. Redpath’s will be fully expressed on the public dance floor after all. And if I just don’t feel comfortable caressing my partners face? So be it. I don’t need to abandon my personal growth exploration. I’m still on the path- discovering the nuances of how I want to express myself with full integrity out in the world. My journey continues…